Deft Definitions

This first part is my eulogy to the Indian system of political dynasties and the currently dominant one, in particular; hope my limited audience derives at least half as much pleasure in reading it as I have had in creating it!

Smt. Dynasty giving a public address in Hindi:
1> The Blind reading unintelligbly to the deaf

The Public enjoying a speech by smt. Dynasty (Hindi/English):
1> A Truimph of imagination (of words heard and understood) over knowledge (that such is not the case)

History repeats itself ?
1> Sycophant: Signora, the peasants are revolting, they say they have no roti/rice to eat;
Signora (oops Smt.) Dynasty, interrrupts: But that should not bother them, why do'nt they eat Pasta ?
Transliteration problems
2> Signora oops Smt. Dynasty in a public rally on Pro-poor policies: ... instituted by my great mother-in-law (appreciative murmurs from the crowd and ".... Zindabad" from the party goons, oops, workers), our party will forever purse pro-poor policies; (pause) mere saath bolo "Garib hatao" "Garib hatao".....(from signora: could'nt find my Italian transliteration of the slogan, hope the slogan sounded correct)

Note: (a)"Signora" in Italian is the English equivalent of Ms/Mrs;
(b) Garibi hatao was Indira Gandhi's election-winning slogan in 1981

Our former pradha mantri speaking on TV:
A speech pregnant with possibilities (a woman can become pregnant in the time it takes to deliver the speech!).

Communist Organs: An oxymoron! (Given that their revered leader has only one organ functioning, that which actuates speech!).

The Left Parties: Left"overs" of history, and equally unpalatable

Social Justice:
(a) A concept replete with opportunities for those who have no need of any
(b) A progressive way of institutionalising social regression

People's War: A War by the People, On the People and against the People

Political Correctness: variously defined as
(a) A Bigot's band-aid for the septic of injustice
(b) A Political crutch for the Morally lame
(c) An optimistic philosophy that believes in relabelling Red as Green as a solution to Colour blindness / a progressive philosophy which believes in substitution of form for substance

Gender Equality:
(a) A well conceived philosophy that has, as its intention, a reduction in the tyranny of women over men
(b) An ill thought out strategem that aims to reduce women to the level of men
(c) A newly established court-of-appeals with the explicit agenda of rescinding all previous rulings in the eternal 'battle-of-the-sexes'
(d) An unfair advantage to the stronger (female) sex

Tribal Rights:
(a) (To paraphrase Onida's famous adverstisement) Environmental nightmare, Leftists Pride
(c) The evangelical neo-leftists' dual "Final Solution" i.e. to the twin issues of the tribals and the environmentalists; no forest, no flora and fauna, no tribals and no environmentalists!

Academics:
(a)A marathon in which the distance between a few leaders and the remaining followers is large enough for the latter to claim to be on a path different from the former
(b) an area of extremely flexible dimensions, broad enough to accomodate invisibility of a neighbour's achievements and narrow enough to be able dissect his minor flaws